Mother is the sweetest and most beautiful thing that has ever happened to mankind. But there are mothers with a narcissistic personality disorder who believe they are very special and constantly seek praise and attention. They often ignore their children’s feelings and focus only on themselves.
This blog will explain the behavior of narcissistic mothers, and the impact on their children, and provide tips on how to handle such a difficult relationship.
Who is a Narcissist?
A narcissist is someone who loves themselves too much. Narcissists think they are better than others. They often need constant admiration and attention. They have a hard time understanding others’ feelings.
Who is a narcissist mother?
Well, a narcissistic mother is a mom who believes she is very special. She always wants praise and attention. She often ignores her children’s feelings. She likes to talk about herself and show off. She can be bossy and hard to please.
What are the 15 signs of narcissistic mothers?
Have you ever thought about the behavior of your mom with you? Mammas are sweet, loving, and caring. However, those with a narcissistic personality disorder can be bossy and manipulative. Here are the 15 signs of a narcissistic mother.
1. Always Wants Attention
She always wants to be the center of attention. This means she often interrupts others to talk about herself and feels upset if she isn’t the focus. She might create drama to get noticed. Her need for attention makes it hard for others to share their own thoughts.
2. Talks About Herself
She often talks about herself, sharing stories of her achievements and experiences. She doesn’t show much interest in others’ lives. Even in group settings, she turns the conversation back to herself. This makes it difficult for others to feel heard or important.
3. Ignores Your Feelings
She doesn’t listen to your feelings or concerns. When you try to share, she may dismiss or downplay your emotions. She believes her feelings matter more. This lack of empathy can make you feel lonely and unsupported, as your emotional needs are neglected.
4. Needs Constant Praise
She needs constant praise and admiration to feel good about herself. She fishes for compliments and gets upset if she doesn’t receive enough attention. Her self-worth is tied to others’ approval, making her crave endless validation from those around her.
5. Very Controlling
She is very controlling, wanting to make decisions for you and manage your life. She may dictate your choices in friends, activities, or even clothes. Her control limits your independence and makes it hard for you to develop your own identity and confidence.
6. Makes You Feel Guilty
She makes you feel guilty often, blaming you for things that aren’t your fault. She uses guilt to manipulate you into doing what she wants. This constant blame can make you doubt yourself and feel responsible for her happiness and well-being.
7. Never Apologizes
She doesn’t apologize for mistakes, believing she is always right. Even when she is wrong, she avoids taking responsibility. This stubbornness can strain relationships, as she never acknowledges her faults or makes amends, leaving conflicts unresolved.
8. Criticizes You
She criticizes you a lot, pointing out your flaws and mistakes. Her constant negative feedback can hurt your self-esteem and make you feel inadequate. Instead of offering constructive advice, she focuses on what you do wrong, making it hard to feel confident.
9. Gets Jealous Easily
She gets jealous easily, especially when others receive attention or praise. Her jealousy can lead to negative behavior, such as putting others down or seeking revenge. This insecurity makes her resentful and creates a toxic environment for those around her.
10. Expects Perfection
She expects you to be perfect and has little tolerance for mistakes. Her high expectations put immense pressure on you to meet her standards. This can lead to stress and anxiety, as you fear disappointing her and struggle to achieve unrealistic goals.
11. Disrespects Your Privacy
She doesn’t respect your privacy, often invading your personal space and looking through your things. She believes she has the right to know everything about you. This lack of boundaries makes it hard to trust her and feel secure in your own space.
12. Makes Everything About Herself
She makes everything about herself, turning every conversation back to her experiences and needs. She rarely shows interest in others’ stories. This self-centeredness makes it difficult to connect with her on a deeper level, as she prioritizes her own life over yours.
13. Doesn’t Support Your Dreams
She doesn’t support your dreams, often dismissing or criticizing your goals. She wants you to follow her plans instead. This lack of encouragement can discourage you from pursuing your passions and make you feel like your dreams are not important or valid.
14. Makes You Feel Unimportant
She makes you feel unimportant by ignoring your needs and wishes. She often prioritizes her own desires over yours. This behavior can leave you feeling neglected and undervalued as if your opinions and feelings don’t matter in the relationship.
15. Doesn’t Accept Blame
She doesn’t accept blame for problems, always finding a way to blame others. She avoids taking responsibility for her actions. This denial can cause frustration and conflict, as she refuses to acknowledge her role in issues, making it hard to resolve disagreements.
Effects of Narcissist Mothers on their Children
The behavior of narcissistic moms can badly affect their children in childhood and later in life. Here are the effects on the children of a narcissistic mother:
Low Self-Esteem
Children of narcissistic mothers often feel bad about themselves. They doubt their worth and abilities. This makes it hard for them to feel good about their achievements.
Anxiety and Stress
These children can feel very anxious and stressed. They worry about making mistakes and getting in trouble. This constant worry can make them feel overwhelmed.
Lack of Confidence
They might lack confidence in their abilities. They don’t believe they can succeed in school, sports, or other activities. This makes it hard for them to try new things.
Trouble with Relationships
They may have trouble making and keeping friends. They don’t trust others easily because they are used to being hurt or ignored by their mother.
Feelings of Guilt
They often feel guilty, thinking everything is their fault. They blame themselves for problems that aren’t their responsibility.
Fear of Failure
They fear failing and disappointing their mother. This fear can stop them from trying new activities or hobbies because they are scared of not being perfect.
Need for Approval
They constantly seek approval from others. They want people to tell them they did well, just like they try to get praise from their mother.
Difficulty with Emotions
They might have a hard time understanding and expressing their feelings. They are not used to talking about their emotions because their mother ignores them.
People-Pleasing
They often try to please everyone. They put others’ needs before their own to avoid conflict or criticism. This makes it hard for them to say no to people.
Low Independence
They may struggle to make decisions on their own. They rely on others too much because their mother always makes decisions for them.
Perfectionism
They feel they must be perfect in everything they do. Mistakes make them feel very bad and unworthy.
Distrust
They find it hard to trust people. They worry others will hurt them or let them down, just like their mother did.
Difficulty Setting Boundaries
They don’t know how to set personal boundaries. They let others take advantage of them because they are used to their mother controlling them.
Fear of Conflict
They avoid conflicts and arguments. They are scared of making people upset because they don’t want to face anger or rejection.
Emotional Exhaustion
They feel emotionally tired. Dealing with their mother’s demands and criticism drains their energy, leaving them feeling worn out and sad.
Signs You Were Raised By a Narcissist Mother
Here are different signs that you were raised by a narcissistic mother.
-
- You often feel bad about yourself.
-
- You worry about making mistakes.
-
- You lack confidence in your abilities.
-
- You have trouble trusting others.
-
- You feel guilty for many things.
-
- You fear disappointing people.
-
- You always seek approval from others.
-
- You struggle to express your feelings.
-
- You try hard to please everyone.
-
- You find it hard to make decisions alone.
-
- You feel you must be perfect.
-
- You have difficulty setting boundaries.
-
- You avoid conflicts and arguments.
-
- You feel emotionally tired often.
-
- You think others will take advantage of you.
What Not to Do if Your Mother Is a Narcissist
Nobody can deny the impact of parents on their children’s lives. Especially, the behavior of mom wil influence your personality for the rest of your life. You might feel guilty and low because your mother is a narcissist. But don’t feel pessimistic as there is still a lot of good things to enjoy about your life.
Here are the things you shouldn’t do if your mother is a narcissist.
Don’t Blame Yourself: It’s not your fault.
Don’t Try to Please Her: You can’t make her happy all the time.
Don’t Share Personal Secrets: She might use them against you.
Don’t Expect Apologies: She rarely admits she’s wrong.
Don’t Let Her Control You: Make your own decisions.
Don’t Argue with Her: It often leads nowhere.
Don’t Feel Guilty for Setting Boundaries: It’s okay to protect yourself.
Don’t Ignore Your Feelings: Your emotions matter.
Don’t Isolate Yourself: Seek support from friends or family.
Don’t Doubt Your Worth: You are valuable and important.
How to Handle a Narrcsit Mother
Here is how to deal with your narcissist mother for your good life.
Set Boundaries: Keep clear limits to protect yourself.
Stay Calm: Don’t let her upset you.
Seek Support: Talk to friends, family, or a counselor.
Focus on Yourself: Take care of your own needs and feelings.
Limit Arguments: Avoid getting into fights.
Stay Confident: Believe in yourself and your worth.
Practice Self-Care: Do things that make you happy and relaxed.
Be Honest: Express your feelings kindly but firmly.
Learn About Narcissism: Understanding her behavior can help you cope.
Stay Positive: Focus on the good things in your life.
Conclusion
Dealing with a narcissistic mother is tough, but it’s important to remember that you are not alone. Recognizing the signs and understanding the impact can help you take steps to protect yourself.
By setting boundaries, seeking support, and focusing on your well-being, you can find ways to manage this challenging relationship. It is a kind of personality disorder. Always remember, that your feelings matter, and you deserve to be happy and respected. Stay positive and take care of yourself.